Monsters
by HanaKoryuo
Summary: She writes names and names of criminals, bitterly aware the action won't be of any consolation because the evil satisfaction settling in her heart is a lie and there's no Shinigami proving those man will die the next die. [Written a while ago for Light's birthday. fem!LawLight ]


**Monsters**

If words can be weapons, then any sound waltzing upon the tip of her tongue can affect the whole world. Human nature easily surrenders to the allure of whom incarnates a goddess virtue, it flails and kicks at the desperate searching for a hand to grasp or a smile that doesn't judge; mercy is lost deep down the black pollution of a corrupted world to such an extent it's hard to envision the rich realm described in the Bible. How could God give life to creatures only capable of damaging the beauty around them? How could evil linger unheeded at the mere sunlight and let free to touch the forbidden fruit over and over?

Light questioned herself since the young age, the big amber eyes up to her father, who resembled a hero in disguise in his height and stern composure. Now he is a man worn out after years fighting in the name of a justice Light doesn't believe in anymore. Justice is a word, a mere weapon people uses to hide fear and resignation, a gun that doesn't shoot, _something_ so malleable you can stretch it and twist it in your hands until it turns into the desired shape. It's easy and Light has experienced it so many times in her short life that she's grown frustrated and bored by the way human mind can be controlled. And the justice his father proclaimed has never convicted the true plague, either the lewdness that dared latch its dirty nails onto her skin. Even though anything worse has happened for God's sake, unseen traces still stain her body and Light only wishes to find a way to justice criminals -unfortunately the Death Note, the protagonist of one of those shonen manga, isn't real, because it would be the perfect weapon to build up a brand new world. She has only her words and the mask of the perfect woman she's forced herself to become in order to achieve more and more power to hunt down her nightmares.

She writes down names on a black notebook sometimes, when her creamy skin bathes in the moonlight and her bare feet feel safe touching the wooden floor. She writes names and names of criminals, bitterly aware the action won't be of any consolation because the evil satisfaction settling in her heart is a lie and there's no Shinigami proving those man will die the next die. Nonetheless it makes her feel better, despite the boredom of a life torn between the need and the will of a change.

"_Justice is a scheme or system of law in which every person receives their due from the system, including all rights, both natural and legal." A debate immediately followed the professor's statement. True fact but the real problem about justice was that attorneys, judges and legislatures often got caught up more in procedure than in justice for all -the one who said that sat in the first row and Light recognised the boy whose father was in jail. He killed a robber in his shop. Self-defence. A clear example of the adage "Justice delayed is justice denied", which perfectly applied to the burdensome procedures, the lack of sufficient courts, the clogging of the system with meritless cases and the use of the courts to settle matters which could be resolved by negotiation. The imbalance between court privileges obtained by attorneys for the wealth and for the person of modest means, the use of delay and blizzards of futile paper by large law firms, and judge who could be cleansed by their sins through a single word. Still innocents waited behind cold bars to be set free when the real monsters kept killing and living._

Light turns the pages of her black notebook, filled with names of _monsters_ in neat handwriting. Monsters who abduct children and abuse girls; monsters who drain your blood out till there's nothing in your hand but the cold stare of misery; monsters that only cause troubles and disappear in the dark; monsters who hide under the bed and knock at the door of your blissful dreams; monsters who beat and kick until they feel human again; monsters who shoot behind a courtesy smile; monsters who lie.

Light knows she belongs to the last circle of damned and so it does the girl asleep besides her. Light's gaze softens at the sight of long messy jet-ink hair spread across the cushion, the contrast between the pale bony skin and the sharp features of a face that would be more gracious without those heavy bags. But L didn't let Light to put make-up on her face so they wouldn't never know.

"_Whatever the reason may be, murder is always wrong." The student who spoke was a girl Light has never seen. Long black messy hair framed her pale skin and her eyes were dark, circled by bags of who has a messed-up sleeping schedule. At first look she didn't give the impression to care of her attire, given by the oversized clothes and worn-out sneakers. Her laconic voice was indeed deep and beguiling, a melody capable to catch Light's interest. As those words._

"_It is." Light found her voice resonating steady and clear in the class, eyes, those black eyes indeed, pointed at her. "But justice has the right to discern between reasons. You can't convict everyone to death penalty without the frame of a picture." The hand holding the pen slightly trembled without her noticing._

"_Human nature will be always the reason." The answer given dropped blue ink on the name she was adding to the infinite lists of monsters free to destroy the world._

L wakes up in a soft brushing of legs against the warmth of the blankets. Half-lidded eyes linger on the silhouette of her girlfriend -_they haven't confirmed it yet, but living in the same apartment for eight months has to mean something in the end_\- and reaches a hand towards Light's shoulders, clutching onto them until she gets up. "It's been a while since you looked at it." L whispers in a hazy tone, uncaring of the bra slipping down her waist. But Light notices it and casts a glance at the frog-like expression of the woman, wondering how the greatest detective in the world can act so shameless and disrespectful of common sense; the list goes on with all her mannerism and lack of social skills, but Light decides to simply take action and, placed the notebook on her side, she adjusts the bra on the thin frame of the detective.

"We'll go shopping today and I'll make sure you buy something decent."

"Light-kun cares too much of appearances."

"At least one of us cares."

"_I would be responsible for many crimes if I measured the good and evil deeds taken."_

_The weird girl sat in front of her at the college's cafeteria without a direct invitation. Light frowned at the sight of her lifting her legs so her chin rested on her knees. "Doesn't this imply you should be in jail waiting for justice to hear your plea of mercy?" Yagami mocked in reply, sipping her black coffee as bitter as her soul._

"_I never mentioned murdering." The other replied quietly before turning to the waitress and ordering a coffee with eight sugar cubes. "I simply value facts and the implication of the deceitfulness of mankind. Everyone has flaws. I, for example, am rather childish and don't like to lose. I would do anything in my power to solve a case just for the gist of my pure pleasure."_

"_So is it just a game to you?" Light's eyes had a glint of bewilderment, fingers tensing around the cup as she measured the words such a weird stranger said nonchalantly._

"_It is, miss Yagami, though it may sound wrong. It's not justice I aim for, but to solve cases that pique my interest. If a monster is convicted, I consider myself doubly satisfied."_

"_How do you know my name?" Light raised a brow suspiciously, observing the woman putting carefully all the sugar cubes in her coffee._

"_May seventeenth, four years ago. Police station."_

_Light's eyes wide opened, fingers scratching at her school-bag with anticipation and lips stretched in a thin line to avoid the incoming trembling. The date was carved in the back of her memory, still fresh and untouched as the faint white marks scratching her sides. The monster awoke and a wave of rage washed away the lie settled behind the curtains of an impassive mask._

L has learnt to give Light her space. Casual touching is allowed as long as soft morning kisses or fights over silly things, but intimacy is a way different battle field and everyone has their own time to recover. So when Light decides to sit on her lap, L doesn't move a finger until the brunette cuddles against her chest and places a kiss on her bony shoulder blade. This is the signal the detective can drape her hands around the girl protectively, balancing her strength so they both feel safe in the embrace -it took her long enough to figure out the right closeness due to her lack of social skills, but it now feels somehow reassuring the trust lingering unheeded behind a lie.

"_I don't remember."_

_Of course she did. Yagami recalled the picture of a girl standing by an old man who was talking to her father, rushed to the police station after receiving the call her elder daughter almost got abused by a teen around her age. Almost. A word enough to let justice made its course with no one convicted for a crime would have changed her life -though it did in the end anyway._

_Then the cycle of names and the perfection masking her true self, the monsters lying dormant in her heart, begun._

"_Oh, how impolite of me to not introduce myself first. L Lawliet. I work as detective with your father occasionally." L's tone didn't change the slightest as if ignoring the cold stare of her interlocutor. "Tell me, miss Yagami, what do you think about the monsters of our society?"_

L has told her to be one of those monsters. The lying one, who poses as human even though they have no understanding of human heart nor experience of pure sentiments like friendship or love. The monster who seeks knowledge and devours everything surrounding them at the quest of what humanity truly means. A still unresolved case, probably the hardest one of them.

Light can understand, even still their vision of justice clash and long-hours discussions occur. But it makes her feel better -to challenge someone, to show her struggling and her suffering, it worths dealing with everything weird L is in exchange of the progress they both make everyday.

L is the only and first person who sees her notebook.

"Happy birthday, Light-kun."

Light's hands unwrap the red paper with a hint of curiosity in the eyes, leaning against L as her hands still hold her in a safe embrace. A black notebook appears from the discarded paper and Light stares puzzled at the perfect copy of what has been her only fake relief for years.

"You can write down the names of the monsters we find out together." L explains before any complaint ruins the mood of what should be a lazy, cuddling morning. "Your deduction skills are being of a big help."

As her fingers brush against the good smelling paper of her new notebook, Light's smile is sincere as it has never been for a very long time. The world is still far from eternal salvation and they are both monsters among the ones living off corruption, but words are weapons at their advantage. One voice is enough to wake up sleeping giants and force armies to surrender and nations to stand up in name of forgotten values. Until their faith is intact, there's a spark of hope even for monsters like them.

**Nda**  
A story written for Light birthday, I posted it on AO3 but I forgot to post it here ops. Sappy soulmates thingies, but it's all I enjoy writing lately 3 Please let me know what you think about it! Ja ne~


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